I haven't checked N's Facebook page in months. Deleting some mutual friends (with polite explanations) all that time ago was a wise move. And, after weeks of having to resist the impulse, I realised this week that I'm actually no longer curious. It's not that I don't care. I wish her well, want her to be happy, hope that she is. But I don't need to know the details, or want to.
Sometimes memories of fights stop me in my tracks/ guiltify me/ make me sad and ashamed. Sometimes they slip under my skin and I want to hurt for them. To let them out. But I'm learning to deflect the memories... even the good ones... because if I don't forget how it was, I will "remember" that that is how it will always be.
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