I went for a really good (really difficult) run. Jellying knees on firm ground, a battle between body and air. It was sunny and taxing but it made me feel good about persevering. I smiled. The scholarship sank in, finally. For the first time in years, my life has a direction. Not a "Where I see myself in five years..." and not a certainty but at least something to hold on to in shaky moments.
Then that weird thing happened- it has been a little while since the last time. A sudden moment of having absolutely no idea where I was. Not of being lost, just a total forgetting. As if I could be anywhere/ nowhere... literally not recognising familiar surroundings. It happened a lot in Amsterdam, towards the end. It used to upset me. Today I didn't panic or anything. It hasn't brought me down, not at all. It was just peculiar, something I can't quite describe or explain.
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