Wednesday 16 May 2012

a memory

Two days before she left the city, a girl I half-believed myself in love with sat down on a bench off Rembrandtplein.  We had a relationship based on late nights and early mornings; the early light scouring the grey skins from the canals.  It was odd seeing her in the afternoon.

It was fairly warm- but she was from the Basque country.  She wrapped her hoodie and mine around her tightly and folded her arms.  I sat down beside her, keeping my own arms to myself.

She looked at me, suddenly intent.  This was nothing unusual.  I had become to being friends with someone as intense as a first lover.

"I have a secret to tell you," she said.  Again, I was used to her drama, so I said nothing.  I was expecting nothing.  She turned away from me, drew her hands up to her face, and peeled off her blue eyes.

Underneath them: brown ones.
Three shades lighter than mine.

I remembered her sudden anger when I told her once how beautiful her eyes were.  They were blue-green, the colour of a marble I once won (this, I did not tell her.)  So this explained a lot.  Staring at her then, popping her contacts back in and rising from the bench, I couldn't help feeling a certain betrayal.

At once, I realised it had only been half an illusion of love.

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